First of all, please be kind to yourself. To really ‘get at’ an issue, I always say one needs to write about it. Create a journal JUST for losing weight. Write the kinds of stories you tell yourself that prevent you from losing weight. For example, “I hate getting older. I get fatter and fatter every year.” If you tell this to yourself then you have a bad attitude about a beautiful process; ageing has so many wonderful things to offer. As you get older, you get wiser, you generally have more peace of mind, and you're REALLY GOOD at certain things. You might also feel great about growing and nurturing young people in your life … See what I mean? Instead, consider researching foods that give you good stuff: vitamins and minerals, natural energy, texture, great taste and a feeling of satisfaction. Walk more, with the dog or a friend. Take up ballroom dancing. Ban white foods from your plate (except popcorn). Keep boredom at bay. Sleep enough.
Belief #2: My job sucks.
I dare you to really EXCAVATE the stories you tell yourself. Maybe you blame your co-workers for how bad the job sucks. You work too hard. They don’t pull their weight. Do you blame your bosses? They are unreasonable. Blame your luck? Your family has a curse on it. The CEO is a jerk for deciding that none of the hourly wage earners is getting a raise for the next ten years and the people who work for you hate you for that.
Could your job suck because you do the same thing day in and day out and you are bored? Talk to your manager and see what new things he/she can teach you. Are you resentful of co-workers who don’t work with you? Maybe you need to stop being such a know-it-all and let someone else speak some of the time during department meetings. A leader doesn’t come up with all the ideas. He/she encourages everyone to be part of the process.
Work too hard? Could you be killing yourself because you’re a martyr looking for more and more praise? Know when enough is enough. If you are the hardest worker in your deparment, find ways to get the "slackers" to get more involved. Help them play up their strengths instead of picking up the workload for them. You aren't doing them or anyone else any favors. The work is suffering because you can't do it all and they are suffering because they probably feel bad about themselves for being perceived as lazy. Everyone wants to feel they make a meaningful contribution.
Belief #3: Your husband/wife doesn’t manage money well.
This isn’t new news is it? But is this the right way to look at the situation? If money is what you really need to work on, yep, create a money journal. So for the next several weeks you have to stop being so easy on your spouse. Those "To Do lists" have been way too short lately. Make sure they do all of the handiwork. No hiring professionals. Go buy them Do-It-Yourself books. “Oh honey, I forgot this last Christmas present … here!” As a result, your dear one spends more time ducking household responsibilities and you end up fighting. Perfect!
Do you see the trend here? Accept some responsibility for the fact that, first of all, your beliefs are stories, and secondly, that you can figure out where the stories don’t benefit you and how to come up with … you got it! … new stories! Maybe you and your significant other need to have a monthly conversation about how you’re both spending the money. Consider getting an easy computer program and begin recording where money goes. Reward yourselves when you have good meetings and even more importantly, when you have great results!
Here's to telling yourself good stories:
I CAN lose a few pounds. Let me set up a physical. I hear that when people suffer from a B-12 deficiency it causes fatigue. Is that why I turn to sugar? For a boost of quick energy? Hmmm...
I DO enjoy my job but I could improve my relationship with my team by listening at meetings instead of talking. Maybe I could make our staff meetings more interactive and leave a suggestion box in the department kitchen!
My spouse is NOT at fault for our financial difficulties. We can solve this together. We used to be so good at brainstorming. Wouldn't it be nice to work together on something fun too? We've been talking about joining the country club. I thought I read that they recently dropped their fees to get more members ...
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